You're standing in front of your Family and Friends prepared to make your dreams of a lifetime come true. It's at that moment that you are grateful that you have a professional guiding your ceremony. The Supreme Court has finally ruled upon this issue. Now is the time to plan your perfect LGBT Wedding. I have been performing Commitment Ceremonies since the beginning, and I am so pleased this has opened up for everyone to marry the one they Love. Contact Reverend Jacqui Weiks, Your LGBT Wedding Officiant
We are an open and affirming, multi-racial and multi-cultural, assessable to all, peace and justice oriented body of faith. We go into the community and God's disciples. Grounded by the teachings of Jesus the Christ, we uplift Christ's goodness, create spiritual community, and care for God's people and God's world. Dynamic hope, incredible compassion, extravagant hospitality, and radical love are our core values.
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Gay Wedding Officiant’s Observations
By Rev Kristen Barner, MDiv | Charleston Wedding Officiant
Gay Weddings are Legal! Now What?
You have been dating for a while. It has been wonderful, fun, and – let’s be honest – safe because there has been no pressure to marry. It wasn’t legal. It wasn’t an option. Even your Great Aunt Liza seemed okay with it, as she only had to pass the potatoes at Thanksgiving. It wasn’t like she was expected to buy you monogramed His and His towels for Christmas.
It’s been a few years. Some laws were passed, Wedding Officiants are editing business cards (“Gay Friendly”!), Thanksgiving at Aunt Liza’s is coming up, and who doesn’t love to announce an engagement over a holiday dinner with family? Suddenly, there are presumed expectations about “taking the next step.”
Hold on. Is Marriage Right for You?
Gay or straight, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Marriage is a commitment for life. A theological person, a wedding officiant who is a minister, will tell you that marriage is a sacred calling to share your life, for better or for worse, until death do you part. Are you and your partner really and truly called into this union together?
Let’s think about that a minute. A couple of great dates and an enthusiastic and supportive Aunt Liza do not lead directly to matrimony. This is about you and the rest of your life.
Marriage, 7 Things to Consider:
- Life Together – Can you imagine life with this person, during boring days of laundry, paying bills, mowing the lawn, occasionally unsatisfying love making, hot flashes, mood swings, job losses and gains, socks on the floor and coffee cups in the sink?
- Life Apart – Can you imagine life without this person, during boring days of laundry, holidays at Aunt Liza’s, choosing paint colors, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, walks, naps, pets, sharing dinner at the end of the day, and sleeping in on Sundays?
- Team Player – Are you two good together? Really really good? Are you a formidable team who can take on Aunt Liza or anyone else because you are just so crazy about each other that you’d defend one another to the moon and back?
- More Yourself – Are you more yourself with or without your partner? (This is a loaded question, but worth thinking about.)
- Conflict – Do you fight well together? Seriously. The old verse is, Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Another version: “For where two or three gather, there shall be conflict.” How do you handle conflict?
- Communication – Do you respect each other and communicate well? (Passive-aggressive and conflict-avoidant partners may need to think hard on this one.)
- Counseling – Are you willing to do the work of premarital counseling? Your Wedding Officiant will offer this service and I cannot recommend it enough. Every Wedding Officiant will deliver this service a little differently with his or her own unique style and program. Ask about it. Take the time. Put down the china pattern samples and enjoy some premarital counseling. You will discover a few things about yourself, each other, and maybe even your Wedding Officiant.
Take Your Life Seriously
Some little girls in America have grown up dreaming about being a Princess who will marry Prince Charming. Everybody easily affirmed this idea.
Other little girls never knew that there might be a more suitable fit for her own Princess standing … like another Princess. The world is slowly catching up with your awesome Princess needs. Just make sure you pick the Princess who is exactly right for you, because Princesses and Princes should never settle.
Now can you ask Aunt Liza to please pass the potatoes!
Read Part 2 of this series, A Gay Wedding Officiant’s Tips.