Why We Need Gay Bars in the World

by Mindi Rhoades, PhD, Assistant Professor at Ohio State University

I came out at 18. Club Rendezvous / Cloud 9 in Athens, Georgia, was my first gay bar. It was hidden out of town and away from campus, for privacy and safety. I was hesitant to sign in on their clipboard, as if attending a gay club was a public admission of homosexuality. Since I had friends who loved dancing at gay bars, it felt like a risk worth taking.

I wasn’t quite sure of myself yet. Like many people, I grew up in a church that preached against homosexuality and was near-desperate to pray the gay away. It didn’t work.

Gay Bars Offer Acceptance

If you have ever been to a good gay club, you understand something about how it feels to be there. Walking into the club, the exuberance was palpable. The sense of joy and relief and acceptance felt heavenly. Being there removed so much tension, so much pain, so many burdens.
LGBTQ folks have always celebrated our worthiness despite condemnation. #OrlandoUnited Click To Tweet

After that, I frequented gay bars, practically growing up at dance clubs and lesbian pubs in Athens and Atlanta. Bouncers sympathetically played along with my fake ID’s. I felt more love and acceptance and joy and connection and life at gay bars than I ever felt in any church.

Gay Bars Celebrate Life

There were times I didn’t want to leave. Backstreet being open 24 hours made it possible to stay through sunrises and watch people going to church Sunday mornings. We celebrated there – birthdays, holidays, friendship, life, deaths, and love.

This is one reason, among too many, that the Orlando LGBTQ massacre at Pulse is so devastating, so shattering, so terrorizing.
The #Orlando massacre devastated a local–and global–LGBTQ community. Click To Tweet
We are rightfully afraid. But LGBTQ people, especially those of color, have always lived with this hate and fear. Still, we have always danced in the face of derision, celebrated our worthiness despite condemnation.

Gay Bars Provide Community

We will continue to find each other, to find fellowship, to be family. We will continue to love as if our lives depended on it. Sometimes they do. We know that. We will go out, and be out and proud, and love anyway.

Mindi Rhoades, Ph.D., is an Assistant Professor in the College of Education at The Ohio State University. Her work explores the intersections of art, media, and identity with teaching, research, and activism.